Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Depression, anger

Feeling pretty lousy today, not really sure why. Some weird lingering depression, some simmering rage. They may not be connected to each other, but they're both coming to the fore at the same time. Usually, it has to do with exhaustion, when there are no real external changes to be upset over.

Can't pin it down. I'm pissed, just not sure at what.

The other thing that can set me off for a few days is unsatisfactory to bad musical experiences. The way I break out of a spat of bad playing is to practice my butt off. If I have a bad gig, or a lousy session, I usually make a determined effort to put in a few hours a day over the next few days to shake it off. But when I'm too tired to put that kind of time and effort in, the negative effects linger. And then I'm in a lousy mood. Like now.

Maybe tonight will break me out of it. Rehearsal. If I can muster some energy and maybe play something decent, hopefully my attitude will be adjusted. I certainly need it.


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