To the Bridge?

I don't mean the "B" section of a tune. I mean "The Bridge" in the Sonny Rollins sense, the woodshed. Time to stop my musical activities and undertake a serious re-appraisal, and re-vamping of my playing.

Gigs of late have been far too up-or-down. Either really good or really bad. Plus, it's been feeling harder and harder to pull things together. Life keeps throwing up obstacles.

There will be a few moments when I think my playing is getting somewhere near where I want it to go. Other times I can't believe how much I suck. Just nothing of value coming out of the guitar.

Also, it's been getting less fun of late. The stuff surrounding playing, I mean. Most of my gigs - no wait - ALL of my gigs of late were either for no money or a loss (gas, tolls, paying the other guys). And the one project that seemed to be going somewhere is quickly turning into a hassle.

And I'm getting berated furiously to put together my old band, which I really have no interest in doing. "Wasn't it the best band you've ever been in?". "Yes, but it isn't the best band I EVER want to be in". It would be nice to think that there's something better around the corner. I'd choose something different and worse over something the same, anyway. That doesn't seem to register. It feels like getting back with an old girlfreind because you know you'll get laid, but in the end the relationship still sucks. Sure, she may call you up and say she just wants to sleep with you one last time, and then she'll never call you again. Sounds like a good deal, but before you know it you've got your own personal stalker and the orders of protection are flowing like rain. You know it's a bad idea, but the prospect of a breif encounter with something really good makes you forget all the crap that's sure to follow.

I just feel that there is so much musically that I need to get together to really say what I want to say, running from one thing to the next may be counter-productive. The combination of a bad gig, stuff falling through, stuff that should be good turning not-so-good, all combines to make becoming a hermit really attractive. Combine that with the news that Ted Greene passed away, a guy who made a huge impact on the guitar world in possibly the most understated way ever - but someone who could serve as an example of dedication to your ideals, even if it means doing less (recording, preforming) than other people think you should, all these factors are pushing me towards "the bridge".

RPI Ted.